No One But Us

God knows

Yes

But no one but us

No one but us

Knows the toll

The taxing

The ache

We’re joyful in our separate spheres

Blessed because we live in favor

Undeserved

If you were to see me smile

Day to day

You wouldn’t know it

That every night

Or nearly every

At least once a day

A multivitamin of tears

A feeling weak

A seeking God and asking

“Why?? Why this way?”

Why this struggle

Why this wait

You had my heart Lord

You had me wholly

Then You shocked my system

Left my knees to knock

I begged you, “I need two years alone with you Lord, I’m not ready to meet him yet, I need more time with you!!!”

And now I’m not sure I can last that long

My heart tied to him

Hand glued to his

Eyes forever locked

No one but us knows

No one

What it is like

To fall in love with a person

Before you’ve met

Well, it sucks. 

Yet it’s completely lovely.

I’ve grown & blossomed as I’ve been broken down.

As tears haven’t ceased, but multiplied.

They’re making fertile ground

Fertile ground

For you to plant a garden.

I don’t understand God’s ways

No

But I know

That I’m ready for us to intersect

The Venn Diagram that is

You and I

No One But Us 

Knows

Darling

Come home.

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I Would Be A Fool

And I would be a fool

To try and listen to a mime

To copy the movements of a marionette

To heed the advice of a puppet

I would be  fool

To gamble with a counterfeit

To purchase an imitation

To dance with clubbed feet

Would be a fool

Who seeks the wisdom of a sorcerer

Who spits manna out for greater blessing

Who drinks poison and calls it sherry

Be a fool

And doubt the Voice of Never Change

And reject a divine present

And fail to believe

A Fool

The definition of

Within the sound…

Of the word itself.

Fool.

And so am I.

Full of faith.

No matter the norm.

 

Waiting.

Patience is something that I’m not very good at. I’m relatively good at a lot of things, creative in different respects. 

But patience? No.

With children, very much so. Unless they’re rude or consistently disobedient, but even then, I can keep a cool head, get my point across, and retain some form of understanding.

But in life? Regarding my future? Regarding knowns stuck in a pool of unknowns? A stagnant pool at that, or so it seems to me, because I am NOT…patient.

Currently, I am in a place where I have no choice. There are things that I have to wait on, things that I cannot pursue, because that is not my place.

Waiting.

Not waiting as in wasting time, but waiting as in waiting for my train to arrive even if it takes more than a year.

I’ve been waiting since July 22nd, 2013…and only the Lord knows when I’ll stop.

Forgive me, I know that I’m being vague, but I don’t feel like spilling any details.

Other than the fact that this has been the most challenging form of waiting that I have ever endured. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually…although it’s beautiful, it has been taxing. Mostly because of what I am waiting for.

Something dear to me. Something that is one of the most significant somethings in my life.

But it’s not yet the Lord’s time. 

And sometimes it hurts.

But I have grown.

And the Lord knows best.

Remember,

The Lord always knows best:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

-Isaiah 55:8-9

And Hold Fast Then.

Image

 

 

I’m beginning to forget you

Piece by piece

Fading into fog

 

I’m going away

Find me somewhere in tomorrow

And hold fast then

 

Find me in fields

On train tracks

In water

 

And hold fast then.

I tend to float

But I want to continue

 

In a billow of your dense clouds

Rain on me, love

Soak me til’ I’m heavy

 

Can’t move

 

Announce yourself

Thunder near.

 

Strike me

Lightning to awaken

Then soft.

 

You are electrifying

With those eyes of yours

 

Hold fast then.

Paralyze me with them.

But this time

 

Don’t let me run away

For I’m always tempted to.

 

But in those cases

I’m not of sound mind

To know what I want

 

Help me remember

That you are unforgettable

My darling

Open Palms…

A solid sound.

An echo…
An echo.
 
Life is much bigger than what you see.
 
Life much bigger than what you see.
 
What you see.
 
Vision blurred empty.
Eyes cleared hollow.
 
Free fall.
 
Free for all.
 
Clinging to your Loved.
 
Don’t break my heart, you said.
 
I told you not to break it…
 
You say.
 
Knowing you are not disregarded
 
But feeling so. 
 
Maybe I heard wrong
 
Maybe it was foolishness
 
But if so, it was a kind 
 
Foreign to your mind
 
Eyes. 
 
Sometimes I’d prefer
 
To drown on the surface
 
Than live in the unknown.
 
What is my life?
 
Hesitation, although always aware
 
It’s a fruition 
 
But right now, all you can see
 
The spout watering 
 
Sprout.
 
The bloom is in wait.
 
And you’ll get stung.
 
Prepared for sweetness.
 
You are becoming 
 
Whose are you
And what for
 
I am that I am.
For His whatever that may be.
 
Slowly loosening the grasp
 
To open palms.
 

Your Eyes

When I look at them 

Remember them… 

My heart speaks loudly but words are mute.

I cannot believe you exist.

You come gift wrapped 

And I,

I welcome your imperfections.

Although I never want to hurt you…

for the times I do, love

i cherish the thought of coming to you

With an earnest sorry.

Your eyes bring out something in me

That I never knew was asleep.