No One But Us

God knows

Yes

But no one but us

No one but us

Knows the toll

The taxing

The ache

We’re joyful in our separate spheres

Blessed because we live in favor

Undeserved

If you were to see me smile

Day to day

You wouldn’t know it

That every night

Or nearly every

At least once a day

A multivitamin of tears

A feeling weak

A seeking God and asking

“Why?? Why this way?”

Why this struggle

Why this wait

You had my heart Lord

You had me wholly

Then You shocked my system

Left my knees to knock

I begged you, “I need two years alone with you Lord, I’m not ready to meet him yet, I need more time with you!!!”

And now I’m not sure I can last that long

My heart tied to him

Hand glued to his

Eyes forever locked

No one but us knows

No one

What it is like

To fall in love with a person

Before you’ve met

Well, it sucks. 

Yet it’s completely lovely.

I’ve grown & blossomed as I’ve been broken down.

As tears haven’t ceased, but multiplied.

They’re making fertile ground

Fertile ground

For you to plant a garden.

I don’t understand God’s ways

No

But I know

That I’m ready for us to intersect

The Venn Diagram that is

You and I

No One But Us 

Knows

Darling

Come home.

I Would Be A Fool

And I would be a fool

To try and listen to a mime

To copy the movements of a marionette

To heed the advice of a puppet

I would be  fool

To gamble with a counterfeit

To purchase an imitation

To dance with clubbed feet

Would be a fool

Who seeks the wisdom of a sorcerer

Who spits manna out for greater blessing

Who drinks poison and calls it sherry

Be a fool

And doubt the Voice of Never Change

And reject a divine present

And fail to believe

A Fool

The definition of

Within the sound…

Of the word itself.

Fool.

And so am I.

Full of faith.

No matter the norm.

 

In The Time We Were Apart

In the time we were apart

I was in your arms still

I was holding you near

 

I was moving heavier

Heavy

Heavily forward

Toward

You.

 

I lifted prayers to the sky

And our Father blessed them.

 

For you

The whole world

And all the favor

Magnified.

 

For you

Joy beyond reason

 

I love you

Steadily and sure

And even though we have not

Yet met.

 

We still have an anniversary

The Summer of 2013

When you fell hard for me.

 

And I fell…

Like the leaves and twigs

That Fall.

 

Darling,

 

Never doubt how much I love you.

For as long as I’m on Earth

 

My eyes gaze upon Heaven

But my feet are planted next to yours.

 

Rooted so.

 

When the time is right

Feel no need to knock

The door is always ajar

 

Don’t bother wiping your feet

For I want your dirty too

 

All of you is welcome

All of you belongs

 

Because when you are with me

What feels like home

Will be complete.

And Hold Fast Then.

Image

 

 

I’m beginning to forget you

Piece by piece

Fading into fog

 

I’m going away

Find me somewhere in tomorrow

And hold fast then

 

Find me in fields

On train tracks

In water

 

And hold fast then.

I tend to float

But I want to continue

 

In a billow of your dense clouds

Rain on me, love

Soak me til’ I’m heavy

 

Can’t move

 

Announce yourself

Thunder near.

 

Strike me

Lightning to awaken

Then soft.

 

You are electrifying

With those eyes of yours

 

Hold fast then.

Paralyze me with them.

But this time

 

Don’t let me run away

For I’m always tempted to.

 

But in those cases

I’m not of sound mind

To know what I want

 

Help me remember

That you are unforgettable

My darling

A Letter to My Darling

It will not be long, I promise you. And there are plenty more where this came from.

Some days are harder than most, to not be around you…and today was one of them.

Know that I don’t feel empty without you, I am just aware of something missing…that’s new for me.

I miss you love. The one I haven’t met yet. I miss you. And I was at first hard on myself…

For loving you without any concrete anythings…but this faith has got to be enough.

I know what I know. I know what I was told. And I would be a fool to try and fight against it, no matter how ludicrous it all may seem.

But you know that I’m a fool in my willfulness and therefore have already attempted to reject.

This heart came back to the same place.

Tonight, I left the cinema…and for some reason an ache came out of nowhere.

Not physical, although those are commonplace (I am human, I mean like…)

Rather, that cry for companionship. But not just with anyone, not just for the sake of it.

With you.

You are the only one I want.

Treinta y Cinco. I would wait that long, too.

 

 

Although that would suck.

But I Can’t

I’ll make this short.

Perhaps you’ve doubted…

A Believer

But a Thomas

There’s an ounce in each

Of us.

See I’ve struggled with it

Fought against

Laughed, Smiled, Cried

Begged.

Vehemently shouted “NO!”

“I won’t!” I said… “And I don’t have to if I don’t want to…”

Fickle, indignant.

And I’ve tried, you see?

To call myself crazy…

To call it in my head…

But I can’t.

Faith of that which is tangible

Is not really faith at all

Is it, my love?

We look and search and inquire of…

Concrete.

But let me ask you–

What did He tell you?

Our Maker?

Darling, trust…

And move.

Because I’ve tried to shake you

And the reality that doesn’t seem real.

But I can’t.

 

Turn the Light Off

Image

And can you not…

Turn the light off?

A constant buzz, a flash

A noisy.

My being tires of you.

Concrete. Fake smiles.

Busy.

Wearied walks, legs–

Could you turn the light off please?

Then water.

Dense silence.

Limbs moving

A seldom known quiet.

A voice

A mountain

A reaching

A vision

Turn that light off.

Let it swallow me whole.

Enveloped.

Sealed pure.

Turn it off.

And let me hear it.

You know that sound–

An echo vibration.

A shaky yet stable.

Turn off.

Turn of YOU.

You as in me.

And you IN me.

Melded.

Let me separate

Distinguish–

Turn off the light.

Let me taste richly

See in the clear

Calm me.

Please turn off that light…

And let me live simply

Rock gently

Cook in hum.

Hot tea

Woods deep

A lake, the sea.

Just you and I

Take me to our Eden.

I’ll hang the clothes to dry

Wake you with a soul song

Listen to you through our eyes

Kiss you gently yet fiercely

At once.

Let me love you saturatedly.

Lucidity.

So turn off that light.

In the mute

Find me free…